Conflicts are usually caused by differences. It could be difference in beliefs, difference in understanding, difference in attitudes or just difference in opinions. As we interact with others, there are bound to be differences between us. I am sure everyone has experienced some sort of conflict before. This highlights the importance of knowing how to handle conflicts, so that we can benefit from the conflicts and prevent minimize the damage that it may cause.In life, we are often given two choices, the right way and the easy way. In comparison, the right way is often tougher and needs more effort, whereas the easy way is to just give up or to take short-cuts. Now, I will share an example where I am faced with such a choice.
During my upper secondary school days, I am often tasked to organize events for the juniors in my CCA. Each time, I would be assigned with a few others to organize the event. More often than not, we would like to choose the easy way, as it requires less effort. However, there are times where I feel that we should choose the right way, as I felt that the event is important. There is once where we have to organize a hiking trip to let the juniors practice their map reading skills. As usual, the other members in my t
eam want to easy way, which is to just plan the route and let the juniors hike. However, I insisted on having a recce of the route to make sure that it is safe, as we should be responsible for the safety of our juniors. As a result, a conflict arises, as many felt that it was not needed. In the end, I conducted the recce with two members of the team, as the others refuses to go.Looking back, I feel that the conflict arises as we view the importance of the safety of our juniors differently. I am sure the conflict can be resolved better, and that full participation of the recce would be achieved. How do you propose the actions that should be done to achieve full participation, or at least to change their view that safety is important.
Leonard Lim (C06)
Hi Leonard,
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern over the safety of your juniors in the hiking trip. Your objective is to make sure that the route is safe for your juniors while the objective of your teammates is to finish planning the hiking route as soon as possible. However, I felt that you can suggest dividing the workload into 2, where 1 group is in charge of planning the route while the other group is in charge of walking through the hike route before the hiking trip to ensure that the route is safe for your juniors. In that way, a compromise is achieved where both parties in the conflict can reach a consensus. Sometimes it may be impossible to achieve what you want, so it may be better if both parties are willing to compromise and reach a consensus.
However, if you insist to achieve full participation, you may want to consider using the soft approach and persuade your teammates to have a recce of the route. You may want to start by explaining the importance of the safety of your juniors and the responsibility that the team had for their safety.
Lastly, hope that my solutions are useful for you.
Li Hua
Hi Leonard,
ReplyDeleteInteresting conflict you have there, the usual clashing of ideas. Sometimes when people think differently as you do, it is a challenging task to try to convince them of your point of view. Much of it depends on how you express your ideas, explaining to them in detail what you are really thinking and sometimes just basically how you are able to charm them.
Perhaps your method in communicating with them was not very attractive to them, which caused them to miss the point of your idea. Or it was just purely differences in mindset, of which basically it depends on how influential you are to them. Are you able to alter their mindset? That would be the question I ask for such situations.
Brandon
Hi Leonard,
ReplyDeleteI agree that it is important to check if the places that the juniors are safe or not. Safety relates to extra work and extra commitment, which sometimes are not easily agreed by people. Like you said, people like to take the easy way out, and usually not think of the consequences which is a very important factor when planning an event.
In such situations, where the obviously right decision is not being made, you can try to gather more people individually, like your closer friends or team mates to lend you a hand. It is usually easier if there is a bigger group of people suggesting a same idea. You can also try to change your mode of communications and try to persuade them, and if it fails, i believe it is wise to conduct with people who agree with you.
Since it is a event under the school, i proposed that you can talk to the teacher in charge or any adults that are related to the event. I believe that the teacher's influences should be sufficient to affect the other members' decisions.
Overall, a good post with a interesting conflict that occur due to people's personalities differences and ideas.
Jason
Hi Leonard,
ReplyDeleteI agree that the foremost consideration should be the safety of the juniors. However, taking into account safety often means extra time and effort to ensure the safety measures are well planned out. This may be the reason why your group mates may have opposing viewpoints.
You might need to highlight to them that the safety of your juniors are of your responsibility, and how important considering safety is to this particular activity.
Sometimes it is not that people do not understand that safety is important, it is just that when events pass without any mishaps we all get complacent and feel that maybe the safety requirements need not be so stringent. So one way might be to convince them that safety in every event planned is not definite. Especially not in a hiking activity.
And perhaps then they might see the significance of the recce you suggested.
Hope my suggestions is of help to you.
Cheers,
Cher Lia
Hi Leonard,
ReplyDeleteI feel that you have done your very best in the conflict because safety is an issue that can never be compromised. However, I only came to realize the importance of safety after my National Service and maybe that is why your friends did not see how crucial safety protocols were in secondary school.
I understand that being a leader in secondary school was a huge responsibility therefore it is natural to feel frustrated when group members are uncooperative and especially so when they are all your friends. However, to overlook safety for the sake of convenience cannot be tolerated even if they are your friends. I feel that you have done the right thing by sticking to your principles and conducting the recce with other members who share the same views as you.
Many people have the misconception that conflict is an all-or-nothing situation so therefore either they avoid it altogether or they end up in an all-out combative mode, regardless of the real severity of the conflict. However that is not true and using effective communication methods to reduce conflict is a much better method as compared to ignoring the conflict altogether or having a total faceoff.
On the whole, I feel that as a leader, you were responsible and considerate. Maybe you could lecture your friends on the importance of safety in the future so that they can appreciate what you have done for your juniors. Hopefully my comments will be of help to you in the future when such conflicts occur again.
Regards,
Jay
Hi Leonard,
ReplyDeleteI agree that conflict arises from differences in opinion, however rarely is it so clear cut to say it is either the right way or the easy way.
In your experience, the conflict arose from the choice of whether to scout the route or not. I am of the opinion that it would have been better to do so as that will ensure that the operation can be carried out smoothly. However, those who did not bother to help check the route were not only lazy but also disregarding the lives of their juniors. It shows a juvenile and apathetic attitude as they did not bother to help.
In such as case, I think that by guilt tripping them, you could make them see it from your perspective. You could mention that in the case where a junior was injured and when your supervisor found out it could have been avoided by merely scouting the area, everyone would be in trouble. I believe that ignorance cannot be an excuse. If they still do not listen, then, it would be morally upright not to follow their selfish ways and do the right thing. Thus I fully applaud your actions.
Regards,
Kimberly
Hi Leonard,
ReplyDeleteThat was a very valid example you have given there. I think that your other friends may not have agreed with you, maybe because they are not mature enough to realize the importance of safety, given that this occurred in secondary school.
I suggest that, as Jason mentioned, to first consult the teacher-in-charge and ask his/her opinion on the issue. And if he/she agrees with you, you can ask your teacher-in-charge to persuade the others.
If that is not possible, you could try giving any example when one of you was hurt because the activity was not safe.
You could also have weighed the pros and cons of the issue of incorporating safety. And perhaps, if you were the group leader, you could have insisted that all of you maintain safety but since all your members have worked extra hard, you could entice your group members with a treat.
But I think it is commendable that you stood your ground, despite many not supporting you. Again, this was an excellent post!
Cheers,
Gulabi
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